February 10th, 2017

Disillusionment

  • Feb. 10th, 2017 at 10:28 PM
allaire: Light in the Sky. (Atlantis)
Seriously, I had this phase ages ago. At the end of Season 4 of "NCIS", I believe. When I accepted that sometimes, a slash pairing has become unhealthy enough that one has to stop reading it in order to get off the ship before one's upset stomach becomes the norm instead of the exception.

Sometimes, a fictional character fails and fails and fails to stand up for himself in canon, and one can either accept that and allow one's love to become perverted, or... well, there's always the "back" button. Thank God.

I'm talking about Tony DiNozzo who I'd loved since the pilot (because of the pilot) and who was turned into a twisted copy of the joking, but emminently capable investigator and SFA to Gibbs with Kate's arrival, but even more so with Ziva's. And I'm talking about Leroy Jethro Gibbs who was turned form a taciturn, stubborn but lovable team leader into a raging asshole and sadistic despot shitting on justice on a daily basis.

With Tony's posting to that Agent Afloat position the blinders finally fell from my eyes, and I stopped trying to patch over the cracks in canon with rose-colored putty paste.

Unfortunately, though, I'm not yet at that moment in "The Avengers", although I've been wishing for it since... last summer, I think? Good Lord. I've never liked Steve Rogers much, even when I was drowning myself in Stony fic, and ever since CA:CW, my disgust for Captain Douchecanoe's actions during the MCU's "Civil War" has changed my reading habits. For the worse.

Just recently, I realized that maybe it was time to return to a pairing I could (and would) imagine making love instead of revenge fucking. Too bad I have no new ship on the horizon - preferably one that is as far from Marvel as possible.

I find it interesting how many fans still diss Tony Stark (perhaps they started with the comics?) in face of his "friend" and team leader's betrayal. Steve Rogers opposed the Accords for "his Bucky", and his Bucky only. Plus, how can one justify keeping the truth about the murder of a friend's parents from said friend, all the while ramming it home repeatedly how keeping secrets is bad, bad, bad? And finally beat said "friend" who overreacts in a deeply emotional moment until he stops moving... and then leave him behind in a frozen enemy base - to die, or to survive his wounds only to be captured, or possibly freeze to death? Argh.

It's time to get off this hamster wheel. I want a new fandom.

And I appreciate this new clarity. Into Gibbs' character as well as into Steve Rogers' one.