Why the fuck did Christopher Nolan have to cast Marion Cotillard as Malorie Cobb? Why the fuck couldn't he choose an American actress? Because I swear Mal's the reason everyone and their fucking baby sister has to pick French as their foreign language of choice in Inception fic, and-- AND NO ONE HAS A FUCKING IDEA HOW TO CORRECTLY USE THAT LANGUAGE. For fuck's sake, I'm not French, but I've learned enough to, I don't know, not fucking use the infinitive as the only verb form ever. One more butchered "French" dialogue in an Eames/Arthur story that's fucking plain wrong, and I'll fucking unload a fucking lot of fucking shit in the comment section of the fic in question, I swear.

GET A FUCKING FRENCH-SPEAKING FUCKING BETA, ASSHOLES, and spare my fucking brain, FUCKERS. It's not like the fucking world fucking well ends at the borders of the fucking US of fucking A, FUCK! Supposedly about 110 million native speakers plus another approx. 390 million people speak French worldwide every day, and I bet more than a handful of those actually hang out in the Inception fandom, so really? There's no excuse. Whoever butchers French in Inception fic is either stupid or lazy as fuck; everything worth doing is worth doing well. You write a story you like enough to post? Well, then, for fuck's sake, get a foreign language beta instead of (mis)using Babelfish. One little post. Just ask. That's what lj comms (and mailing lists, etc.) are for. Seriously.

The fucking pain is just too fucking much.

Almost everything I write, I write in a foreign language, by God, and I don't use my nationality (or the fact that I'm not a native English speaker) as a fucking excuse to flood the world with fucking shit. Do me the favor of doing the same, hmm?

:::stabs eyes out with spork:::

Plus, the next person who dares write "mi casa es su casa" in a conversation between two close friends or acquaintances gets the Highlander Medal of Painful Stupidity^TM. "Su" is a form of address for polite strangers, not friends/family/lovers. Yes, annoyingly Spanish is a) a foreign language, duh, and b) one of those who dare use two different forms of address. Boo-hoo. Cry me a river. Morons.

(stupid character limit of the subject line!)

Anyway:

Happy birthday, xkatjafx and bingbulette! See? Cake. The scythe's just a trick of the light. Promise. :::serious nod:::

We'll see you both at the next Stammtisch meet, won't we? :-)))