Gah. Argh.

How the heck did Don ever qualify for the FBI entrance exam?! Checking the job requirements as depicted on the FBI homepage, I can't see him fulfilling any of the criteria. Well, perhaps one. If I squint.

To quote:

Accounting To qualify under the Accounting Entry Program, candidates must: Have been certified as a CPA (= Certified Public Accountant); or Possess a four-year Business degree with a major in Accounting or a related Business degree that included or was supplemented by 24 hours of accounting courses and an additional six semester hours of business law or other elective business courses. Also must possess two years of progressively responsible accounting work in a professional accounting firm or comparable public setting, such as a state comptroller or the General Accounting Office. The last year of experience must be as a manager, team leader, or other similar position which would provide experience in a variety of areas and allow for exposure to and experience working with higher level executives (i.e., partners and directors).

Whenever the subject of forensic accounting has come up in a connection with a case, Don appeared to know no more than the basics, if that much. Plus, he went from Minor League Baseball directly to the FBI, with no accounting work in-between.

Computer Science/Information Technology Expertise To qualify for the Computer Science/Information Technology Critical Skill, a candidate must either: Qualify under the Computer Science/Information Technology Entry Program; or Have managed a corporate network; installed and maintained server operating systems; established and maintained an Internet Service Provider; maintained and monitored performance on a TCP/IP or other protocol network; or maintained and performance tuned servers or Internet Information Services.

Don is a capable user, but not a network admin. He can type, open files, but he can neither program nor hack anything. These requirements are way above his skill level with computers.

Engineering Expertise To qualify for the Engineering Critical Skill, a candidate must have a degree in an Engineering related discipline. A degree in Architecture would also qualify.

As much fun as it would be if Don had followed in Alan's footsteps and earned a degree in architecture, episode 1x04 "Structural Corruption" makes it evident that his father is the city planner, not Don. As for engineering (aerospace, chemical, civil, electrical, mechanical, computer, software, or molecular engineering, nanotechnology, mechatronics etc.)? Considering its overlap with math and physics, I believe Don would have steered clear of this field. Also, he never showed any knowledge in these fields.

Foreign Language(s) Proficiency An applicant may qualify for the Language Critical Skill by qualifying for the Language Entry Program (i.e., passing both the listening and reading portions of the Defense Language Proficiency Test (DLPT) and demonstrating a proficiency of three or higher on the Speaking Proficiency Test (SPT) in a critical foreign language). For those applicants that qualify under an Entry Program, other than Language, they can qualify for the Language Critical Skill by passing the listening portion of the DLPT and demonstrating a proficiency of "2 " or higher on the SPT in a critical foreign language. The following is a list of language skills that are currently deemed critical by the FBI: Arabic, Chinese - all dialects, Farsi, Hebrew, Hindi, Japanese, Korean, Pashtu, Punjabi, Russian, Spanish, Urdu, and Vietnamese.

Don? Don only knows a few words of heavily accented French, and as far as the show has shown us, has never spent any time abroad.

Intelligence Experience To qualify for the Intelligence Critical Skill, a candidate must possess two years of substantial, full-time work experience in an intelligence area. Those areas include foreign counterintelligence, counterterrorism, and positive intelligence. The two years of experience may include periods of training that concentrates on intelligence. Full-time work experience as an Intelligence Analyst/Specialist, FBI Special Surveillance Group member, or a supervisor over those positions is sufficient. Candidates who possess undergraduate or advanced degrees in International Studies, International Finance, or a closely related discipline would also qualify.

That would be Colby's field of expertise, not Don's. While "International Studies" would fit well with Don's character as shown on tv, the requirement - knowledge of several if not at least one foreign language(s) - does not seem to be fulfilled.

Law Experience To qualify for the Law Critical Skill a candidate must qualify under the Law Entry Program (i.e., have a JD degree from a resident law school).

Don went to college on a baseball scholarship, which means a regular college, not a law school.

Law Enforcement or Other Investigative Experience To qualify for the Law Enforcement Critical Skill, a candidate must have at least two years of full-time investigative experience in a law enforcement agency.

Unlike Tony DiNozzo, Don wasn't a cop prior to becoming a federal agent.

Military Experience To qualify for the Military Critical Skill, a candidate must possess two years of substantial, full-time work experience in the military.

Again, Colby fulfills this requirement; Don doesn't.

Physical Sciences Expertise To qualify for the Science Critical Skill, a candidate must have a degree in a scientific field such as Biology, Biochemistry, Chemistry, Forensics, Mathematics, Medical Specialties, Nursing, Physics, etc.

Well, evidently Charlie could become an FBI agent with the snap of a finger. Don? Don and science always kept a healthy distance from each other - by choice. Definitely not: chemistry, math, nursing, physics. Unlikely: biology, biochemistry, medical specialties. Perhaps: forensics.
Not like Don has ever shown any skill in that field (or would have had any reason to be interested in it considering he only wanted to play baseball), but it would fit.
I guess other scientific fields might also qualify. How about criminal justice?

Diversified Experience To qualify for the Diversified Critical Skill, a candidate must have a BS or BA degree in any discipline, plus three years of full-time work experience, or an advanced degree accompanied by two years of full-time work experience. Please note: opportunities to qualify through the Diversified Critical Skill are very limited.

Which means pigs would fly. What could a former baseball minor league player offer in that field? Nothing comes to mind.


According to U.S. Department of Labor - Bureau of Labor Statistics - Occupational Outlook Handbook: Police and Detectives, to be considered for appointment as an FBI agent, an applicant must be a college graduate and have at least 3 years of professional work experience, or have an advanced degree plus 2 years of professional work experience. An applicant who meets these criteria must also have one of the following: a college major in accounting, electrical engineering, information technology, or computer science; fluency in a foreign language; a degree from an accredited law school; or 3 years of related full-time work experience. All new FBI agents undergo 18 weeks of training at the FBI Academy on the U.S. Marine Corps base in Quantico, Virginia.

The FBI adds that one has to be at least 23 years of age, but younger than 37 upon appointment as a Special Agent. One must possess a four-year degree from a college or university accredited by one of the regional or national institutional associations recognized by the United States Secretary of Education, as well as at least three years of professional work experience. One must also possess a valid driver's license and be completely available for assignment anywhere in the FBI's jurisdiction.

So the only way for Don to qualify for his dream job would be earning a bachelor's degree in a job-related field of studies over a course of four years. I'm still in favor of a B.S. in Criminal Justice. Eep.


But back to the FBI.

1. Don underwent basic FBI training at the FBI Academy in Quantico where he met and studied with (and was romantically involved with) Special Agent Terry Lake. The training took 4 1/2 months.

2. Then he worked in Fugitive Recovery in Phoenix with Special Agent Billy Cooper for an unspecified time period.

3. After that, pretty burned out, he was a tactical training instructor at Quantico, also for an unspecified time period. Liz Warner was one of his trainees, although we have to ignore her statements messing up the timeline; she first appeared in episode 3x06 "Longshot" in 2006 and claimed to have only been in the FBI for 4 years, that is, since 2002.

4. Then, Don was Special Agent in Charge (SAC) of the New Mexico Field Office. It is headquartered at 4200 Luecking Park Ave NE, Albuquerque, NM 87107, and has five resident agencies in Gallup, Farmington, Santa Fe, Roswell and Las Cruces. Considering how that office is structured, his immediate subordinates were the two Assistant Special Agents in Charge assigned there. The field office has a funded staffing level of 95 Special Agents and 76 Professional Support Employees. In Albuquerque, Don was romantically involved with ATF agent Nikki ______ (maiden name unknown; later married Richard Davis) and Special Agent Kim Hall, who worked under him (the position wasn't specified). Kim Hall later joined the Secret Service's Counterfeit Division in L.A. When Margaret Eppes née Mann fell ill (cancer), Don returned to L.A.

5. There, he took a demotion in order to get a job at the Los Angeles Field Office and went from the SAC to the Special Agent running the Violent Crimes Squad. As such, he is the direct subordinate of the SAC of the Criminal Division (whose name is never given, and who so far has never appeared on the show).
The SACs of the Counterterrorism Division, the Criminal Division, the Counterintelligence and Cyber Divisions, and the Intelligence Division are all under the supervision of the Assistant Director in Charge (AD) of the L.A. Field Office. That used to be AD Walt Merrick (in the pilot) and later AD Phillip Wright (episode 3x22 "Under Pressure"). It is unlikely that AD Merrick was made director of the FBI; so he was either dismissed, he retired/quit, or he transferred to another field office.
The Los Angeles Field Office headquarters is located at 11000 Wilshire Boulevard in Los Angeles. The field office also has ten satellite offices known as Resident Agencies, which are located in Lancaster, Long Beach, Palm Springs, Riverside, Santa Ana, Santa Maria, Ventura, Victorville, West Covina, and at the Los Angeles International Airport.


Which brings me to my next point: A timeline.
Going by Don and Charlie's ages (and the age difference of 5 years between them as established on the show, despite the fact that the age gap between Rob Morrow and David Krumholtz is far greater), and the supposition that events on the show happened at the same time as the respective episodes aired, the following can be established (with aid of CalSci Library):

1970, July 15: Donald Alan Eppes born (according to a prop, Don's birth date is July 15, 1967; however, that contradicts canon as established in dialogue)
1973: Alan and Margaret Eppes take their son on a peace march that ends up with Alan being arrested (Don is 3 years old)
1975, September 5: Charles Edward Eppes born
1978: Charlie can multiply four-digit numbers in his head
1979: Charlie gets special teachers and special classes
1988: Don and Charlie graduate from High School (Don is 18, Charlie 13 years old)
         Margaret Eppes accompanies her son Charlie to Princeton
1989: Charlie publishes his first mathematical treatise (in the American Journal of Mathematics) (Charlie is 14 years old)
1991: Charlie graduates from Princeton (Charlie is 16 years old)
1992: Don graduates from college (Don is 22 years old) (see above)
         Don starts playing baseball (second base) in the minor league for the Stockton Rangers
1994: Charlie is in the UK and starts living with Susan Berry (Charlie is 19 years old)
1995: Earliest date Don could possibly join the FBI (see above: requirement of having to have worked professionally for at least 3 years)
1996: Don takes the FBI entrance exam, passes, quits the Stockton Rangers and joins the FBI (Don is 26 years old) *
         Don trains in Quantico for 4 1/2 months *
         Don begins working in Fugitive Recovery with Billy Cooper *
1996: Charlie and Susan break up
1999: Don quits Fugitive Recovery and goes as a trainer to Quantico *
2000: Don leaves Quantico and transfers to the New Mexico Field Office *
2001: Don dates ATF agent Nikki ______ and later breaks up with her *
2002: Don has an affair with Leah Wexford while Don is assigned to her case
         Don and Kim Hall start dating in Albuquerque (Don is 31 years old)
2003: Margaret Eppes née Mann diagnosed with cancer
         Alan Eppes retires due to his wife's illness
         Don moves back to L.A.
2004: Margaret Eppes dies
         Don elicits Charlie's help on two cases between her death and the series pilot (money laundering resp. tax fraud)
2005, January: Pilot (Don is 34, Charlie 29 years old)

* dates marked in red are supposition.


Random tidbits:

The Eppes' address is 874 Hunter Street, Los Angeles, CA 90021. Don's apartment is located at the address 8111 Aguacate, Los Angeles, CA 91021.

Charlie never liked pancakes as a child. Don liked them, and Charlie pretended to like them.

Don plays tennis, hockey, baseball, basketball (with Charlie), and skates. He watches hockey and baseball on tv. He used to play baseball in the Minor League for the Class A Stockton Rangers. He was a utility player batting right handed and he had trouble laying off low, outside pitches. In his last season with the team he bat .228 with 36 RBI's. When he realized he would only be a mediocre baseball player, he signed up for the FBI entrance exam.

Dr. Lawrence ("Larry") Fleinhardt is a professor of physics at CalSci, a brilliant theoretical physicist and cosmologist, who researches supersymmetry, string theory, 11-dimensional supergravity theory, doubly-special relativity, black holes, and gravitational waves, using LIGO to check predictions on quantum corrections. He may have even found a way to express Calabi-Yau manifolds in a way that goes beyond a non-vanishing harmonic spinor and, independent of Charlie, published a work of genius entitled "Zero Point Energy and Quantum Cosmology" in Physics Weekly (for which he collaborated with Prof. Stromberg), which could provide insight into the cosmological constant problem (episode 3x04 "The Mole"). He was the NASA's payload specialist of the mission to the International Space Station (ISS).

Dr. Amita Ramanujan is a professor of combinatorics at CalSci (Charlie was her doctoral thesis adviser) and is pursuing a second doctoral degree in astrophysics with a new thesis adviser, Dr. Kepler. She is the best programmer Larry Fleinhardt and Charlie know and is an expert on asymptotic combinatorics. She won the 2006 Milton Prize for her dissertation on combinatorics.

Dr. Charles Eppes is a professor of applied mathematics at CalSci. He has consulted for the NSA National Security Agency, in part as a cryptanalyst, for nearly five years, having attained a TS/SCI security clearance.

Dr. Mildred ("Millie") Finch is appointed Chair of the CalSci Physics, Mathematics and Astronomy Division in episode 3x09 "Waste Not" and an experimental neutrino astrophysicist who worked on the construction of AMANDA. She is versant in all of the Division's fields and holds an advanced mathematics degree.

Don's dating history encompasses (chronologically): Terry Lake (fellow FBI trainee at Quantico), Nikki ______ (later Davis) (ATF Agent; in Albuquerque), Leah Wexford (witness; in Albuquerque), Kim Hall (then FBI, now Secret Service; in Albuquerque; they were engaged, then broke up), Nadine Hodges (prosecutor; in L.A.), Robin Brooks (AUSA; in L.A.), Liz Warner (FBI agent; in L.A.); Robin Brooks (again).

Alan Eppes is a retired city planner; Margaret Eppes was a composer, but gave up music for law, and became an attorney.

Don went to their prom with Val(erie) Eng, Charlie's lab partner that Charlie had a crush on.

Marshall Penfield, a fellow Princeton graduate, is Charlie's academic rival and strongest critic (episode 2x07 "Convergence"). Competing with him gives Charlie the idea for a new project named "A unified theory of the neural network in higher cognitive functions" (aka the math of the brain), later referred to as "the math of neurons creating consciousness" or "work on his cognitive emergence theory". He explains it as: "I'm attempting to mathematically model how conscious thought emerges from basic neural functions." Charlie estimates completing the project will take him the next several decades.

Charlie's book (the story is set before its publishing date in 2007 (episode 4x06 "In Security") is titled "The Attraction Equation. Being popular is as easy as Pi."

Names:
Brandon Mann.
Marcus Donovan.