Something's really been bugging me about a lot of the Numb3rs and NCIS stories I've been reading recently, and finally, I can define what it is and put it into words.

It's this sense of entitlement by family, friends and colleagues that they have an indisputable right to delve into a family member/friend/colleague's life, thoughts, feelings, and secrets, and that the person they force to spill what they'd originally intended to keep to themselves should be grateful for their nosiness and the emotional blackmail.

And the really surprising thing? At least in fan fiction, it works. All. The. Time.

Don Eppes doesn't want to talk about the emotional repercussions of a bad case? Too bad. Megan Reeves (or Terry Lake), his partner, wants to hear how he feels. It doesn't matter whether or not Don is ready to talk. She's entitled; after all, she's a profiler, and his mental state is her concern. If he hesitates, she either freezes him out - thus making him feel like he has to apologize and spill his secrets - or threatens to report him (and his shaky mental health) to his superiors.

Tony DiNozzo doesn't want to talk about his feelings regarding the train wreck of his broken relationship with Jeanne Benoit? Too bad. Ziva wants to make him feel better, and to achieve that, she needs to hear how he feels first. She's his partner, and she has secret ninja skills (meaning she can lift his keys from his pockets, pick the lock to his apartment, or just incessantly bug him at work). Considering Gibbs' famously small tolerance for his agents "goofing off" on company time, for the sake of peace and quiet either Tony or Ziva will have to give in. With Ziva's pathological need to be more macho than her male colleagues, Tony spills his secrets, only to end up being thankful to have somebody listen to his woes.

Seriously, what the fuck?!

What kind of skewed world view is that?! Thoughts are not only free, they're also private.

Anybody tries that passive-aggressive bullshit on me, I'll let them stew in silence. It should always, always be up to the one in emotional distress whether or not (s)he talks to someone, trusts someone enough to talk to them, or heck, just feels up to talking about it at all at this point in time, period.

Of course I'd like to know that a friend is willing to lend me a sympathetic ear. But please at the time of my own choosing. Whereas emotional blackmail? A big no-no, and a sure friendship breaker.

Oh God, I so need a healthier fandom.

:::headdesk:::