I've been reading a lot of SPN fic lately (no laughing, xkatjafx!) - mostly due to the interaction between Dean Winchester and Castiel -, but I still think my OTP in this fandom remains Dean/Sam.

So I finally watched episode 4x19 yesterday (despite dreading further canonical proof of the decline of the relationship between the two Winchesters) - without a single idea what it was about -, and now I'm far too pissed off at a fictional character in a fandom I've never been too involved in. Well, make that two characters.

First of all, John Winchester. I certainly don't begrudge him finding relief in another woman's arms years after Mary's death (like Sam said, he wasn't a monk), nor do I hold it against him that Kate Milligan got pregnant (although, hey, contraception?! Did the condom break? Because if he relied on his one-night-stands promising him they were on the pill, then he deserves STDs up the wazoo plus a whole elementary school class full of little Winchesters running across the US).
What I do hold against him, though, was establishing (and keeping) contact with his newest son and his mother. Supposedly, John was all about revenge on Azazel and protecting his family - how could he ever be totally sure that he wouldn't be followed to the Milligans, and that his new "family" would remain safe from the demon if he showed up there far too often?! That was thoughtless, and careless, and he would have deserved it if Kate had died just like Mary.
Even more so, I blame John for giving Adam the father his older sons never had. The father who was there on his birthday, who took him to a game, who posed for happy family photos, who was a Dad. When you count back, Dean was 11 years old when Adam is born, and Sam was 7. According to the ghoul pretending to be Adam, Kate re-established contact with John when her son was 12 years old, which would make Dean 23 and Sam 19 (and studying at Stanford) at the time. Back then, Dean and John were hunting together, but split up for various jobs. Supposedly, John swung by the Milligans about once a year.
The only thing I'm glad about is that at least, John didn't leave his underage sons alone in a motel somewhere while he went to play happy family with his mistress (because you can't tell me that he and Kate never had sex again) and his 'normal' son.
One might postulate that he tried to make up for his shit-awful parenting by being a better father to his youngest son.
Still, I can't help but wonder whether he showed up at the Milligans during those endless months Dean and Sam were desperately searching for him, back when John didn't reply to voice-mail and left his sons to worry and fear for his safety. Let's say he didn't. That would help at least a little bit.
Anyway, I'm still angry on Dean and Sam's behalf, who never had a stable home, a caring parent (instead of a merciless drill instructor they called "Sir" instead of "Dad"), or someone who cared about holidays, gifts, or their feelings. John Winchester, you suck.

The second thing that recently pisses me off is Dean's unreflecting parroting of the angels' party line of "Sam, you shouldn't use your demon powers. You're gonna become evil and will have to be hunted down like any other evil thing we've wasted over the years." Seriously. What the fuck?
Sam driving out demons is all good and well the very moment it saves their asses, but afterwards it's all about reproach and criticism, and him "going darkside".
Let's look at the evidence. So far, Sam hasn't slipped, not once, despite the drinking of Ruby's blood (ick. Dean still doesn't know about that.). He hasn't done a single evil deed so far. Yes, he's certainly become colder, more cynical, more willing to sacrifice the few for the benefit of the many. But in my opinion that's at least partially due to the four months Sam's spent hunting alone (until Ruby showed up) after Dean went to hell - a time during which I'm sure he hoped for death, but also couldn't actively seek it without invalidating Dean's sacrifice. This season has all been about poor widdle Dean's PTSD post-hell, with everybody conveniently forgetting about Sam's trauma, because hey, hell on Earth isn't Hell, after all, just like the endless months Sam spent watching Dean die over and over again in episode 3x11 "Mystery Spot" were just a walk in the park since it wasn't real, after all! It's not like any changes in his behavior could be due to that, could they? It must be the evil demon blood. /heavy sarcasm
I can certainly understand Sam's desire to make something good come out of something bad. Both Mary Winchester and Jessica Moore had to die because of Azazel's plans for Sam, and ignoring that - and trying to deny it, and his tainted blood he can do nothing against - while living as a normal human being is like accepting their deaths were for nothing. Sam has the unparalleled opportunity of using what was done to him for good, and it's not like the angels have given a reason - a single reason - why using his powers is a bad idea. According to them, he's already tainted; he's already involved with the coming apocalypse. So why refrain from doing good with the weapons he's been given, no matter their origin?
The angels are already treating him (have been treating him from the beginning) like something evil, something sub-human. They've essentially destroyed his Faith. No matter how much I like Castiel (Misha Collins pretty! Yah!), he's definitely had a hand in that, and if Sam is driven to the edge, I know who to blame. Dean, for being unsupportive and prejudiced, and the angels for driving a wedge between the brothers.
As for Ruby, I still hope (although I'm afraid that hope will be Jossed sooner that I'd like) that she'll remain the exception she's claimed to be - a demon who's been attempting to claw her way back towards redemption, despite her nature, despite the lack of support from the 'side of good'.

Gah. Really. Why do I even think about that show? And why so much? I need more fanfic set at the current point this season that doesn't character-bash Sam. Grrr.