The next rant I feel the need to embark upon is Battlestar Galactica (2003).



When I was at mabiana's, we watched it together, including The Lowdown, the special to the new series shown on SciFi shortly before the pilot was aired.

Does a society need heroes? And what constitutes a hero? If there is no hero, what then induces us to watch a series?

Good questions. The Lowdown addressed that topic in passing, with Richard Hatch describing Apollo as the quintessential hero type. And rightly so. Starbuck, womanizing gambler that the was, was also a hero. So were Adama, Colonel Tigh, Boomer, Athena, Cassie and all the others of the original series. Why?

That's easiest to answer if you confront the old characters with the new ones. Why are the new Lee 'Apollo' Adama, Kara 'Starbuck' Thrace, Commander Adama, Colonel Tigh no heroes?

Their characters have depths that were only hinted at in the original series. That there had to be a big father-son issue between Apollo and Adama was something only fanfic addressed in the length and depth it deserved, that Starbuck, as an orphan and a commoner, kept forever rebelling against 'the system'. That Adama had to 'be' the fleet and, together with Tigh, come to decisions that were crippling in terms of the emotional trauma they triggered. No wonder that one might become deliberately cruel towards the person he held responsible for his loss, or that another might needle superior officers wherever possible, while another might only lust for revenge, and his second-in-command might depend on the bottle.

No problem. Angst, trauma, issues are fine and a well of ideas for further storylines. But there have to be redeeming values, something that makes the viewer actually like the persons portrayed on the screen.

Where is Apollo's steadfast, competent calm, his care for Serina and Boxey, his function as an example for the other viper pilots?

Where is Starbuck's lighthearted flirting that barely hid the vulnerability behind? His treatment of Cassiopeia showed us all that he was not as cynical and egotistic as he pretended to be; he cared for Boxey, was willing to die for Apollo and always found a way to cheer others up. The old Starbuck wouldn't have needled Tigh, then hit him and finally let him feel her contempt. The old Starbuck would have agreed to provide Tigh with a secret stash of alcohol, put it all in plain sight on the table in Tigh's quarters and then somehow arranged for Adama to be called into Tigh's private rooms only to discover that this second-in-command needed help to get away from the bottle. He would have enjoyed the whole secrecy immensely and later patted himself on the shoulder for having found a unique and still gentle solution to a worrying problem.
What is this strange impression the series' makers have that making a woman obnoxious, ill-tempered, rude and vulgar makes her 'strong'? That plus hanging around all sweaty in a muscle shirt and getting thrown in the brig makes the female Starbuck an asshole, not a tough 'I'm-at-least-as-good-as-a-man' woman. Let's not forget incompetent and biased, because she passed Zack although supposedly he didn't have the skills necessary to become a viper pilot.
What a delightful character.

Where is Adama's honor? Why did the new version of Adama lie to the fleet and pretend he knew where Earth, the 13^th colony, was? That wouldn't have been necessary. He could have simply told them that he intended to find that planet and that he needed all their help and strength for so great a task. Now -- what? Will they simply fly into one direction, with the fleet ignoring all possible hints that might actually help them find Earth, because they blindly follow Adama who, after all, supposedly knows where he is going? That is beyond stupid. Furthermore, the new Adama is a hard-nosed falcon who seems more like the old Cain that the farseeing realist we know who fled battle in favor of saving whatever lifes he could.

And let's not even talk about Colonel Tigh.

Besides, is there a special reason that both Tigh and Boomer changed color? Yes, we now have a lot of female leads, but no one in the main cast is colored, and I can't help but wonder why. Where were Athena and Cassiopeia, Serina and Muffit (Yeah, that daggit used to be annoying. Still.), and how are we viewers supposed to care about Zack - a character we weren't even shown?

SciFi wanted more emotional drama. Well, they didn't succeed. I guess it is due to budget reasons that we were never shown the battle and the Destruction that supposedly took place; we didn't see the Atlantia and the rest of the fleet destroyed nor the Colonies go up in flames. I still remember the battle; the vipers shot down like clay pigeons because only Adama had had the foresight to place his pilots in the vipers, ready for takeoff, while all the other Battlestars had neglected to do so and therefore got their fighter out too late. I remember Caprica in flames, Adama and Ila's house in ruins, with both the Commander and his son in tears in the dark. I remember Athena's pained cry on the bridge, and the silence later when the footage from the colonies was shown. That was emotional drama. The look from the wall artifice employed in the new series didn't work half as well; I simply felt as if the Galactica and her crew were all alone in the universe and the rest wasn't even happening. I didn't see anyone mourn save perhaps Boomer for her fellow shuttle pilot. Starbuck just looked like her face had frozen, which I attributed to Katee Sackhoff's acting abilites, not to supposed grief.

The new two-parter was way too long, and boring despite all the action. I couldn't care less whether the protagonists died or not. I will of course watch the rest of the miniseries, even if only for Jamie Bamber and Callum Keith Rennie, but I fear I might have to ingest litres of black tea to stay awake. And chain myself in front of the TV so I can't find something - anything - else to do.

Predicate: disappointing.