Now I feel so relieved, and disappointed, and disappointed to be relieved, and--and--

I've stopped watching Supernatural as of right now. Kripke and Gamble have stealthily been stealing away all the fun and love (or rather, 'like' - I didn't fall for this show until about three months ago) I used to have for SPN over season 4, and it was only in the hiatus that I had enough distance to even see that.

And now? Now I only want to hit Dean with a dead otter (hey Frase) - the otter's optional, the hitting part isn't - until he gets his head screwed back on straight, takes of his blinkers, and reverts to the lovable, irreverent, generous man with an endless capacity for love for his family, and the smug, self-centered, judgmental prick he's become fades back into oblivion. Since that is unlikely to happen, and since I refuse to string myself out over the next God knows how many episodes hoping for crumbs of the Sam-Dean dynamic they used to have, I now need to do what I have to to regain my emotional equilibrium (and hey, can you say "over-investment much"? I can).

For me, that means stopping to watch the show until either I hear of a satisfying reunion of the brothers (one that includes an apology and a bit of "mea culpa" on Dean's part, and preferably on Castiel's as well), or at least until the season has run its course and I can decide, depending on the plotline and the spoilers, whether to give up on SPN for good or to catch up over the next hiatus.

Of course, that means that my most recent source of fanfic has, by necessity, dried up, too. The stress at work is bad enough; I don't need to exacerbate that by hanging out in a fandom that continuously makes me angry all the time. Better to stop now when I still have the strength to deny all events post-season 3 and can still see Dean's good traits rather than despise him with a passion.

I gave up on The West Wing when John Wells took over and changed a bunch of likable people into bastards (two episodes post-Sorkin were enough to convince me of that), I wish I had given up on Stargate: Atlantis with the season 1 finale when it went from "Let's celebrate the geeks, for they save our lives!" to "Let's make fun of the geeks - what a bunch of losers!", and I stopped watching NCIS after season 5 when I felt that Gibbs' inability to show his emotions changed from an endearing quirk to an endless source of annoyance and frustration.

SPN? It was nice while it lasted. While it still was a show about two brothers fighting evil - together. For now, though? Goodbye.

I won't miss you. Much.